Thursday, 17 July 2014
Lets Talk | Anxiety
Anxiety is a word I often seen thrown a round a bit on the internet and although I understand why, sometimes I wish it could be different. It is totally, 100%, normally to feel anxious from time to time. In everyone's life they will experience anxious periods and things that cause them to feel overwhelmed - this is the nature of life.
The trouble becomes when people with true anxiety then feel like they must just be normal "because everyone feels anxious" and never seek the help they deserve in dealing with this problem.
I first started suffering with anxiety and panic when I was around 17. I was in a relationship that, on reflection, was very toxic for me. I went from being confident and unafraid to being someone who needed constant reassurance and always imagined the worst. Every new situation, or one that I felt had no control over would cause me to panic. Panic attacks are without doubt one of the hardest things to deal with - you have no control of a situation so you panic and then the panic makes you feel even more out of control. It's such a vicious cycle.
Eventually when I was 18 after just over two years in this relationship, I plucked up the courage to get out of it and leave him behind. Unfortunately though the anxiety wasn't as easy to forget and put in my past.
I knew I was anxious, and I knew I felt panic more than my friends seemed to feel but it never really occurred to me that there was something I could do about it. On my 19th birthday after one of the worst months of my life, I went to see a counsellor at my university. Im not sure how i plucked up the courage to do this but I urge anyone that feels like I did to do the same thing. That day was a turning point.
I mean sure, I ignored what she said for a long time and lived in some form of denial that I had something to deal with but after a while it was impossible to ignore. There seems to be such a stigma around anxiety and the words "mental health" and this stigma made me afraid to say something and admit I needed help.
If all you take away from this post is one thing let it be this - mental health problems are nothing to be ashamed of, they are out of your power and anyone that makes you feel otherwise isn't to be listened to anymore.
I got help properly after a while - regular counselling sessions and a form of medication that helped control my anxious tendencies - and now I'm like an entirely different person. I still have triggers and issues from my previous relationship sometimes creep into my new one and cause worry that perhaps wouldn't occur otherwise but that's okay. I just remind myself that I'm in control now and that if what I need is to run away and escape for a while then that's okay too.
One blog that really helped me was Zoe Sugg's post on anxiety, that and her video about panic and anxiety are what made me realise that actually it was okay to ask for help. I'll link both of these down below if you want to see for yourself - if you suffer from anxiety I really recommend it. She really does explain it all a bit better.
Zoe' blog post: http://www.zoella.co.uk/2011/12/panic-attacks.html
Zoe's video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-iNOFD27G4
Beth x
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